New Year Wishes

May health, happiness and good times greet you each day of the new year 2006! Happy New Year!

Best Regards,
sns.

Well, that has been the text of the email that I sent to my near, dear ones, friends, relatives and people I know. I received emails almost with similar sentiments, some as replies, some originated from the sender, some as reply disguised in new email (as when somebody is suddenly awake and thinks that oh yea, it's new year, I must send obligatory HNY email), some with spelling mistakes, some in my native language Marathi, while one from my closest friend, who I am sure does not wish anything better than the best for me, with reply 'fuck you', just because he hates spams and sporadic traffic of emotions on special days (including Diwali and New Year), some promising to talk on phone, while some replies as a phone call, and many other unanswered.

Important thing is that they received my well-intentioned emotions and somewhere in parallel universe, I also got all the best wishes they hoped for me after reading my note.

Here too, I wish you, although I don't know you exactly, neither I have heard your voice, nor may I have seen you, a happy and prosperous new year. Does not that sound totally insane? Why would I, to you, an anon, wish the best? Because giving something unconditionally is the only thing that you can do as a human being, giving something without expectations is in my opinion the best thing. All of our life, we are pursuing one thing after another...school, college admissions, post graduations, life partners, money, house and what not...so instead of that sometimes assume the role of a giver or a donor. Help someone "rationally" to something good in his/her life with the capabilities that you are sworn with. That joy of fulfillment is much more long lasting that running around a mirage all the time in your life for your own's sake.

Finally, every action has an equal and an opposite reaction, so be patient, good is own your way too!

So in the new year...

1. Remember the needful
2. Be a giver
3. Keep that ear-to-ear to smile on your face, no matter how many difficulties you are facing in your life. Butterfly of happiness attracts another butterfly of happiness
4. Be good to yourself and respect yourself

So wishing a heart-felt happy new year to you.

Lots of love, sns.

PS: Oh yes, it will a long time (almost a year) before I will write again here, so forget me not. :-)

Some latest photos

Houston fireworks, A Swan and A Restaurant in San Francisco

I don't know you anymore...

I don't know who you are, where you are from anymore....








As of yesterday, I decided not to track visitors of my blogsite...this blogsite is meant to be my personal diary, so as a matter of fact what I say here should not concern anyone and at the same time, I should not be concerned if anyone is concerned ;-).

Psuedo-intellects

So now we have a name for ourselves. While coming back from Savoy last night, M asked me so how do you think world would evolve in next 200 years? Well, it was a good question and finally somebody had asked me, what do I think of this concept....so with all gusto, I was ready throw ideas. Oh by the way, we get these bouts of discussing things on which we don't have any control....hence we have named ourselves Psuedo-intellects. Reason is straightforward, what we think (at least right at this moment), is not going to have any effect on the world. :-)) So coming back to his question and interesting discussion that ensued....

I started by saying, the most logical model seems to the world where countries or people grouping together by their core-competencies, for example, all countries/people rich in research and development would gather together, all countries/people rich in offering technological services would be together....it seems more of a natural extension of what is currently happening in the world..with NAFTA, ASEAN, EU and SAARC...

Another model that I could think of was something based on layers of information. Today what separates each human being is how much information you have compared to your neighbor, your colleague or your competitor. At the same time, there are different layers of information. For example, news, trade, P-2-P exchange, rogue layers (such as underground activities ...porn etc.) , so this again seems to be more in line with trade-based world model.

Third model that we thought of was based solely on good and evil...well, I don't have a clear idea about it as well...

Funny thing is that how we started throwing off thoughts in air as we are some kind of intellectuals who are paid to do this...imagine sitting in nice Washington think-tank office, drinking coffee and throwing off stuff in air when in fact you don't know hwo to get to your lunch place by car. Some amusing crap.

Rashoman

I am letting Akiro Kurosawa's Rashoman (1950) sink in me....for some time.

Labels

Yesterday, I came across this post by RaysofSun where she talks about how people tend to label other people based on their origin, habits etc. Well, more than once, I have been pray of this habit and more than likely, I would like to say that, yes I do make generalizations. I understand what she is trying say but it is very necessary to understand Indians, specifically are societal (as I said earlier in one of my posts) and they like to belong to a certain group, be it a cultural, political, hobbyist or based on sports. But at the same time when we make a transition from India to United States, we get introduced to something radical or not necessarily imaginary concept called as ‘Individualism.’ Well, there is nothing wrong in subscribing to individualistic principles and disliking conformists – in essence you are being a non-conformist, and, I feel non-conformism is an antithesis in itself.

As a human being, everyone needs to identify themselves with something that is tangible. Those things could be the city that they live in, religion, and many other things, innovative minds will think about Harley Davidson cult. Based on these identities and our experiences with people from these groups, we form an image in our mind. Forming and labeling somebody without a priori experience would be a mistake – that will be prejudice.

But these images or so called labels help us to know or expect what we can get/expect from a certain individual. It is very easy to understand why we create images based on our experiences (again this is my understanding…quite naïve). For certain person from certain country behaved in bad certain, we start associating them with that label – country, much like all lemons are tangy and strawberries are red. Thus we tend to keep bad experiences in memory which may change our perception. So every time we see that person from a certain country we know what to expect. If that person behaves same way, we are not disappointed, but had been the case that we had good expectations in mind, certainly we would be disappointed.

Making generalizations is one thing and acting solely on those generalizations is something else. Reacting solely on prejudice rather than predilection is something that I detest.

I don’t think, we can treat each experience singularly as it happens and can’t label things, after all that’s what is called “learning.”

Notes to myself

• Freedom is an antithesis in itself.
• In a capitalistic society, there should be no rules on trading.
• Mediocrity is pervasive for every human being, unless conscious efforts are made against it.
• Use it or loose it - think - that segregates humans from primates.
• Reason it.
  

Yin/Yang

I overheard somewhere that in the universe there is negative force and then there is ever-compensating positive force. There is all evil, ill-will, obstacle, bad thoughts, worse fears and all the things that we worry about. There are darkest emotions, then there are wicked people.

But, there is always a ray of light through all this, just as in white spot in the yin. That white spot is human representation of affinity, hope, optimism, care, love, affection, god and all the better things in life that we long for. I think combination of these two forces keeps the universe in balance!

There is always a unspoken competition between the good and the bad, the God and the Satan, the creation of life and the destruction of life, the righteous path and the wrong way, the light and the dark, the optimism and the pessimism and the creator and the predator. This competition always keeps on intruding in our lives, we being the mortals following laws of nature.

Had it not been there, we would never understand of the importance of sweetness that comes with pleasure. Had it only been dark side, then we would never be encouraged to propel forward in life. Had it only happiness, we would take things for granted.

This is what makes our lives miserable at one moment and happy the next. This is who we are, that is what we experience.

Not long ago, in fact last Wednesday, I experienced series of events which basically halted my work almost to standstill. The haze was so fearsome and thick that I could no longer see my path to proceed. Now exactly in a week's time, today being Wednesday again, Yin/Yang is in its full presentation. Since morning, I was able to complete what I have proceeded to do. Providing details again here would sound too banal...but believe me if you are hurt today, discouraged today, there is light at the end of tunnel.

Respite

I took a brief break and finally went for it. I finally had my haircut, it's been probably longest time that I had had my hair grown. That's almost two months and few days from October. Well, I like long hair for myself and on girls....but managing hair became pain in neck, with all shampooing every three days and massaging with oil every night...so I decided to let go. It feels really awesome now...as if somebody just took of 100 tons of my head and shoulders....anyways nothing juicy going on...and no I am not always in contemplative or pensive mood all the time.

Oh by the way, we're watching Larry David and his production "Curb Your Enthusiasm"....it's hillarious, he's tried to pick on faux pas in daily lives...in my opinion he's always right, or to be more precise, politically correct, but he ends up getting in fights with people with his witty and sarcastic remarks...for example, he is waiting to see his doctor (in episode, Interior Designer, Season-1, Vol-1), after a while a nurse comes out and declares "Mr. David, doctor will see you now!", Larry retorts, "Oh yes, that makes me special, does it?" and earns a sneer from the nurse. Almost in every incidence, he fights with somebody to create huge confusion, which paves way to comedy, so we named his comedy as "confrontational comedy", hopefully that will be a mainstream category in another 15 years!

What is difference between right and wrong?

Lot of times when I write here, I feel that we are trying to look at instances in our life or issues in life - in general for which we don’t have a specific textbook answer, for which there is no set rules, for example, recent post by Restlesstraveller. What she is trying to understand is something very subtle, something which can not be discerned by an ordinary eye. I am thinking about ethicality.

Let me give you a famous example usually taught in ethics class....known as Heinz’s Dilemma. Heinz’s wife is ill, he does not have enough money to buy medicines, and his pharmacist refuses to give them on credit, even though Heinz has been a good citizen. Heinz ends up stealing drugs from the pharmacist. Who is wrong?
(a) Heinz – because he stole drugs which is unethical...but he saved his wife’s life. (b) or Pharmacist – because he did not have sympathy for Heinz’s wife...but he was adhering to his business goal, he is market to make money and that’s what precisely he did. So there are no set answers to certain questions in life.

That leads me something that I did today. I will not be able to explain the exact details but from ethical perspective (again ethics being rules and principles commonly accepted by the society, to remove any confusion), it may be deemed as wrong. But at the same time, I did it at the wish of somebody else. I had no motive of incurring it myself. So who is at the fault, the person being an ethical person had opportunity to judge his own act but who requested me that I do the deed....or me, because me being an ethical person had prerogative to judge his motivation! I can contend that something that executed today may be used to save my skin down the line if need be.

Again, the act had no impact on whomsoever, and if at all, it will be me.

I am not sure if this catharsis is a defense for my actions or was that whole thing an instance by itself which can not be judged from set perspectives.

PS: My office mate had a book that he purchased in India, it’s a quite famous book but I could not read past first 3 pages, name of book is “48 Laws of Power”, and to sum up in line, it basically details Machiavellian techniques in 48 small chapters that you can use and apply in daily life. Well, it is one of those things that I don’t want to recommend but would like to recommend to make aware my friends about how many ugly things can exist in this world.

Lemony Thicket and Series of Misfortune Events

Wednesday, 12.14.2005

8.20 AM Had a flat, changed tire, had to shell out $52.00

9.25 AM On a 70 degree turn, I am driving at 35 mph, ended up skidding, fortunately nobody was driving around me, I found myself perpendicular across two lanes on the road.

9.45 AM Got a warning from advisor about using Administrator account on the server (for those of you who don’t know what is an Admin account, it basically gives privileges to a hacker to hack a network if not used properly by the end-user, in this case – me)

10.05 AM Sitting in a seminar room with a coffee, fellow attendee spills my hot coffee, fortunately it drapes the carpet

12.00 Forgot to call my best cousin brother who is in India, for his birthday

12.00 – 2.00 PM Went to drop Tejaswini to Airport, normally a ride that takes 45 minutes to-and-fro, due to heavy rain, it took me 2 hours, lost 2 hours of work in office.

2.20 PM Came back to office, found out that somebody turned off the computer on which I was running my experiments, lost 5 days worth of work in computations.

3.00 – 5.00 PM Trying to learn UNIX, no luck, lost 2 hours.

5.20 PM Bought Thai noodles from C-Store, I don’t know what did they have in it, I slept within 5 minutes in office after eating them for next 3 hours, lost 3 hours of work

9.00 PM Another server does not have correct software, I am loosing time, lost another 45 minutes.

Either somebody is wishing me really well or not at all.

But I am smiling.

Do good feelings/good wishes last forever?

She gave me a book which is quite rare and according to her, it is out of print since 1982 or so. Well, it’s by her favorite author; the one she contended was her ideological icon in literature, in studies and in life in general. The book in Marathi, is about a girl who is dwelling with her father in pre-independence era of India and trying to define herself as a lady, trying to take care of house and her penchant for education. Well during those days, she is writing letters to one of her guy friends (for whom she later develops affection and love), staying in distant city. Not a big book, but certainly very impressive. She gave me the book telling me how she wanted me to have it. Certainly she must have good feelings behind giving me the book.

Well, evidently we are not together any more, and my question is does that book still have those positive emotions with it? Things always don’t work out the way everyone wishes to be. Good feelings at one moment can turn into feelings of extreme agony the next. (Well, sometimes you have to realize all you can do is to smile at the way you are being played on this stage of life by some higher power, just the way puppets dance to puppeteer’s whims!). Being a science student, I believe in resonance theories and interpersonal connection on different plateau than what humans can perceive. Well, to tell you the truth, I have/had nothing but good wishes for her. I felt the reason we’re not together is not because of her, her personality but something that could not be resolved between both of us. Does she have the same for me? Well, you would say, as a rational person, what do you care? Well, life is not binary...

I am in a dilemma.

What should I do with the book? Neither do I have guts to destroy it nor to part it away from me! Does the book deserve the place with the rightful owner or should it reside with me as it defines a point in time for me?

Pro Bono Publico

... I will not share my views further.

Random Thoughts

Collection of my random thoughts as I come back every night from school to home...

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How does it feel to be the back tire of a car or may be of a big trailer? You don't know where you are going, where your life is going, certainly you are not capable of providing any directions to yourself, let alone for anyone with you...you respond to road bumps and hazards with equanimity, or should I say with no feelings at all?

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I see thousands of cars (people) traveling on freeways every morning, possibly heading towards downtown, moving in unison to small freeway bumps, occasionally getting restless and turning/changing lanes left and right, but still heading in same direction...are they just robots who have been instructed to go to a destination or they independent entities charged with achieving a supreme goal? Everytime you get out of the house, you again see people driving in worldly hurry in every direction, do they even know why they are doing what they are doing? Of course, everyone of them will have reason, far more important than others, but does anybody think about it?

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What is better...being a cat or being a dog? Of course, each of the species has its advantages and disadvantages. First of all felines are univited guest to human race who have made pretty good place in most families. Well, being uninvited and then getting immense love....that's a tough job! They have their own identity, and are basically independent...be it foraging for food or playing with human companion (mind you, cats don't have owners). Being a dog is easy, I suppose. You have to show immense loyalty towards your owner, it includes wagging your tail, barking cheerfully to make him/her glee and of course playing with kids. Occasional picking up of newspaper earns you extra piece of meat. I think and I have observed, dogs and their owners converge in their looks...otherwise you would see young, beautiful girl having a Great Den and Harley Davidson rider with a Chiwawa! I think I am biased, my friends know what specie I like!

---
Finally, I was watching Charlie Brown on ABC...Rerun says
"Happiness is like a warm cookie", I might add...."Share it"

Mahesh (from Kitchen, shouting): 'Sns', chicken is ready.

Me (from bedroom, working): I know.

Mahesh: How do you know?

Me (still in bedroom): I heard camera clicking.

Hello, How are you?

In Anytown, Canada...

Me: Hello, How are you?

You: I am fine, thank you. How do you do?

Me: I am great, thank you.

You: Good for you (oh, what a bitch)!

I don't know what is the cause of extreme expressionism, is it superlative, is it extreme state of discontentedness or is it just cold?

Faces

You see somebody's face and all you can make out from them -- are just their apparent emotions. You don't know what's going on behind that smile, stern or angry mask. It could be something that they are thinking of what they could not do for their loved ones, or something that is causing them immense agony, for others it's joy that they are afraid to share with everyone else around them. They may even greet you with all the politeness and courtsey, but what are they thinking? Someone may even laugh at your pet-repeated-joke, but what happens when they move out of your sight?

Are they being politically correct by not showing their inner emotions or are they fighting/triumphing them by not letting them out? What is their motive? What can you do about it?

With one chance enounter, how much can you predict about a person?

My Tooth, My Tooth...My Pretty Petty Tooth

(I think I have made the transition from diary to blogging, hopefully I am being temperamental).

Yesterday, while eating an Washinton apple, one bit of it got stuck in between my front teeth...all this insignificantly happened while I was driving to school. So after reaching to school, I tried to get it out by hook or crook, meaning from floss, side of a paper sheet, pencil lead and what not! It was driving me nuts! Well, finally after 20-25 minutes of struggle, I left it to its own device...not to mention that bugger came out on its own few minutes later.

Well in "the process", I think I hurt my front tooth and it's become over-sensitive to cold/heat, and it hurts!

Power of Science

Yesterday, on INSIDE Extra edition (for those of you who don't know what INSIDE, it is celebrity gossip tvzine, after couple of beers and good food, me and Mahesh were all for discussing lives of celebrities, afterall it did not affect us!)...so one lady in Houston, Texas actually paid huge sums of money to get looks of Barbie.

In a latest news, Harper-Collins, the well-known publisher digitally removed some objectionable material from a children's book, which was read every night to many young souls as a bed-time story.

Yet, somewhere else, adult-guardians are editing Hollywood movies to remove occurances of sex, violance and abusive language to protect their children from bad influences.

Every email that you type (not only on Gmail), every activity that you do on Web, leaves a trail behind, which potentaiily can come after you in future.
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These are just few examples of what science has come up to? Is it a boon to mankind or just an eternal curse that you, me and everyone of our descendents will suffer ever after. Afterall, humans studied subjects, developed science as a systematic way of approaching a problem and invented technologies to make our life simpler. All these advances were meant to make things easy, the way we deal it.

Perhaps not so, may be afterall what everyone intended is not so true. Finance and economics invented concept of loans/credit/debt, so humans first began getting comfortable with debt and then extremely dependent on it. A thin relationship of availability-need-dependency between comforts and human began to disappear when man forgot journey is important than the goal. How you achieve certain thing in your life became more important rather than why you are achieving it.

I don't intend that anyone who reads this post should be guilt-ridden, perhaps this post is just though-provoking. Next time you decide to do something, think about action-cause-effect.